She Reigns with a firm hand

Although I resent Walmart's reign over America, Martha Stewart's return to glory does not inspire malicious feelings in me.
Yes, I was one of those angry at the domestic diva during her short stint in the big house, but I have recovered my senses and joined the ranks of faithful magazine subscribers.
Prior to my Christmas gift of a year-long subscription to the glorious periodical, I would race to the registers in HyVee. Now, however, I can wait for my next issue from the comfort of the armchair placed next to my mailbox strictly for this purpose. The agonizing six weeks of waiting between distributions is only partly relieved by the massage feature on my lazy boy, so I am forced to nurse each month's issue with care.
In opposition to my W*lm%r$ experience, entering the magazine is always joyful. The layouts, lines, pictures, stories, and recipes are so organized it fills me with warmth. In fact, I think it is about time for a 57-step, heavenly batch of cookies straight from Martha's kitchen. So please excuse me while I fish my spatula out of the cutlery drawer.